-Sunday- VERN (1:28am) Vern. TINO (1:28am) Hey Vern. Im Tino. Where are you? VERN (1:29am) In the middle soon. Brian used to live in here, TINO (1:29am) Sounds like a blast. Im kicking back with a beer and a book. Vanessa recommended it, otherwise wouldnt bother. Something about a monkey. VERN (1:31am) I prefer the jameson myself. TINO (1:31am) Anyway, nice to meet you Vern. Enough txting for now, Ill touch base tomorrow. (2:20pm) hy Vrn, I just lost my tmpr. I got frustrat and brok my phon. VERN (2:25pm) What happened, tino? TINO (2:25pm) Is this annoying or what? Sorry. I tll you what. Why ont you brak something too. Right now. Want to o it? VERN (2:26pm) Yes! What shall i break? TINO (2:26pm) Goo. Work is important, but so is unoing work. Ask any mchanic, vrything dis alon. Fin somthing long an chap like a pncil. Lt m know whn you hav on. VERN (2:27pm) Got one. TINO (2:27pm) Put your thumbs in the mil. Hold it about y-lvl with fingrs pulling on ithr n an brak it. Tll m whn you o it. VERN (2:29pm) With pencils, the broken object is still functional. Now i have more pencils than before. TINO (2:29pm) Isnt it a rlif? I want you to kp the rasr part in your pockt all ay. Show it to somon. I gotta go to the phon stor. VERN (2:34pm) Talk to you later. -Monday- TINO (3:00pm) Hey I got this trick I can do. Just five questions and I can guess what your job is. Seriously, its this weird skill. Want to play? VERN (3:00pm) Sure. TINO (3:00pm) Ok, first some background. How long do you have for lunch? VERN (3:01pm) No official time limit. TINO (3:01pm) Ok. Let me just get a few details straight. Are you proficient with Excel? VERN (3:04pm) Proficient enough to do what i need to do. TINO (3:04pm) Youre a completely open book. This is easier than I thought. Have you ever had to fire a pregnant or weeping person? VERN (3:04pm) No TINO (3:04pm) I knew you hadnt. Confirms my guess. A couple more just to be sure. Do you work in a group with two or more people you went to high school with? VERN (3:06pm) Not at this particular workplace. TINO (3:06pm) Coulda guessed this first thing. Youre obviously a Shutdown Planner. Am I right? VERN (3:07pm) I don't know what that is. TINO (3:07pm) Really? Im never wrong. Maybe you should consider a career change. VERN (3:08pm) I didn't say you were wrong. -Tuesday- TINO (1:38pm) Guess where i am? VERN (6:50pm) Where? TINO (6:50pm) Theres nothing prettier than the sun setting over a plastics factory. The right mix of chemicals can turn the sky the most bizarre shade of impossible. Ya know? (6:52pm) God damn. I love nature and all its wonderments. I can tell you where to find your perfect dream sunset. Whats your favorite color? -Wednesday- TINO (12:07pm) Sorry for bugging. I need a favor. Something just occurred to me. Ok? Im 65 floors up. You got a second? VERN (9:12pm) I do now. TINO (9:12pm) Vern. Im late. Just came in to New York City- I dont know this part of town. Foreman sent me a txt, but this thing ran out of memory, so I did delete... VERN (9:13pm) Need me to pick you up? TINO (9:13pm) Point is, im lost. Not worried though, these things work out. But I need your help. Would you go past the graffiti or toward the ATM? VERN (11:29pm) I like graffiti. TINO (11:29pm) A cutout of an old lady pasted up. Gorgeous. Must have taken somebody ages. Would you go follow the group of people or go where they arent? VERN (11:30pm) Depends on the kind of people. TINO (11:30pm) These guys are going too slow. Should I go past the dollar store or toward the big public art thingy? VERN (11:31pm) Thingy TINO (11:31pm) Going with the dollar store. Dont trust them. They get you on the tax. Should I go under the tennis shoes hanging or toward the Whole Foods across the street? VERN (11:33pm) Mm food. Shoes like that are everywhere. TINO (11:33pm) I never understood what the shoe thing is. Think I should go under the overpass or around the park? VERN (11:35pm) I try not to go by parks i'm not familiar with at night. TINO (11:35pm) Not many trees here, mostly baseball fields. btw, Boston 3 to 4 last night. So now is it follow the sound of music or follow the fire truck? VERN (11:36pm) Music. Always follow the music. TINO (11:36pm) Just a crappy punk band, I think. Ok, nice. Theres my site. See? Works every time. Catch you later. -Thursday- TINO (1:38pm) On a scale of one to ten, ten being very and one being not at all, how firm is your handshake? -Friday- TINO (12:15pm) Hey Vern whats up. I cant get out of bed this morning; PAIN. That rigging job in india is catching up to me with a vengeance. (12:17pm) Built a massive building for tiny parts. Semi-conductor facility. Theres a certain satisfaction in that. What do you do for work anyway? VERN (12:43pm) 8 TINO (12:43pm) Are you good at it? Like an expert? -Sunday- VERN (10:12am) Expertise is relative. TINO (10:12am) What are you up to Vern? VERN (10:13am) Defrosting a turkey! TINO (10:13am) U wanna trade? The inspectors here. Puts numbers on things that dont need em. Like how you had 19 characters in that message. You txt normal, QWERTY or T9? VERN (10:14am) Normal TINO (10:14am) So 57 max key presses, times 6 muscles of the thumb(s) involved, like the flexor pollicis brevis, and four nerves. Do you use a light pressure or heavy? VERN (10:16am) What on earth does that mean? TINO (10:16am) You just took 95 seconds to respond, so we're talking 1.11 neural signals/sec per second on your part. VERN (10:17am) It's early. TINO (10:17am) If you were a factory youd get an efficiency rating of 0.02/averg. Notice how you do other basic tasks. Fast or slow? Dont text me now. Itll take too long :-) (3:00pm) Met a girl last night - vanessa. Vanessaaaaah. Whaddaya think. Movie or the shore? -Monday- TINO (2:20pm) Do you ever think about all the shit you use everday that has moving parts? -Tuesday- VERN (7:05pm) The shore, duh. TINO (7:05pm) Just took apart a drill. This one was edged with rotating electric grinders and planers. Like a stainless steel pinata when I popped it. Where are you? VERN (7:07pm) On the m4 going south on fort washington. It's csa veggie pickup day. TINO (7:07pm) Perfect. Be still and open your ears. Listen to the sounds of m4 south fort washington csa veggie pickup day. Everything not human. Thats all parts moving. Sssh VERN (7:07pm) Not really. TINO (7:07pm) Im hearing a computer, kind of like the air from a balloon with the nascar sound of the dvd player. What have you got? VERN (7:09pm) Motor rumble and spanish. TINO (7:09pm) How would you describe the sound in detail? (10:09pm) Hey Vern. Think. If you slipped and a friend caught your safety rope, the only thing between you and a 70 story fall, who would you want it to be? -Wednesday- TINO (10:09am) Ok, nevermind. Ill see ya, Vern. Off to a job in chongqing, china! Watch out for that true.